Excuses, excuses

I've been making excuses. About three months ago, I joined choir. Soon after, the HS told me to ask about auditioning for solos. Since I wasn't sure if it was me wanting glory for myself or the HS actually speaking to me, I had to pray and ask for discernment. Once I figured out it was the HS, I called. I was quite pleased with myself. I told the Lord, smiling, "I called. Now it's up to them." I never received a call back (input smile here - I thought I was off the hook), finding out there were some problems with the pastor's assistant's husband. The HS spoke again and I (again) had another excuse. It was Christmas and crazy. Then it was a family problem with the pastor's extended family. Still He kept speaking to me, and I, rather joyfully, had more excuses. Excuse #1 - I wasn't as good as the other soloists the pastor had already. E#2 - What if I made a mistake while singing a solo? E#3 - I found out our pastor doesn't like vibrato in the voice, and I sing with some vibrato sometimes. E#4 - What if he doesn't like my singing, and he hurts my feelings by saying I'm just not good enough for solos? Am I O.K. with that?

Here's how the HS answered. He made me sign up for a vocal workshop which would help me become a better singer. How did he make me, you ask? I totally forgot about the fact that we have one car and Andrew had a Cub Scout meeting (Pinewood Derby) that day and that I have Travis I have to feed. He made me so excited about the workshop that I signed up immediately. I made it to the workshop, thanks to Dad and thanks to Mom for watching the kids and thanks to Bruce for taking Andrew to the Pinewood Derby. There went excuse #1.

Excuse #2? The soloist on Sunday made a mistake, and lightning did not hit her. She did not melt, and the congregation did not boo her off the stage. Well, you do survive after making a mistake in public. Darn, I was running out of excuses.

Excuse #3? The other soloist on Sunday sang with vibrato.

Now, for my last excuse. I prayed and the HS showed me that I would be O.K. if he didn't like my singing. I was fine with singing in choir. I liked it, and I love singing for the Lord. I also fortunately ran into someone who told me that he doesn't always immediately have you sing a solo. In fact, you may never sing a solo. He just likes knowing you're available. It doesn't mean he didn't like your singing, he just doesn't like to change the Praise Team too much. And the HS said, "Ha! You got any more excuses?"

I didn't. I gave in. I sing for him on Wednesday evening. I am soooooooooo nervous!!!!!!!

Please pray the Lord's will and that I don't sing flat because of my anxiety. My hands are shaking already thinking about it. Can you imagine how I'll be on Wednesday?!?!