No yelling

I yell. I'm a yeller. I know all the professional parents (i.e. doctors, psychologists, those with no kids) say you're not supposed to yell, but when you have even one strong-willed child, you're going to yell at some point. Only problem is when God gets involved. The professional of the professional knocked on my heart yesterday, whispering (of course), "Don't yell." Ugh! I hated hearing those words, so I ignored them. You know Him, He doesn't give up, so He whispered again today, "Don't yell." Fine. I'm going to try to not yell. My question is this: what do you do when you get really irate/frustrated and need to vent or make sure your words are clearly understood to your children? Hitting an object is not appropriate, yelling is now prohibited, and counting doesn't work. Anyone have any ideas? What do you do? I couldn't find one verse that seemed to fit, so just read Proverbs and anything about the tongue, words, or mouth will fit in just fine. (o:

Mommy of 5?

It's been a long time since I've posted. I guess it's because no one reads these. Oh well. If anyone comes across this blog, I guess I'll update that person. I am due with number 5 in 7 weeks. Am I ready? No. Does this seem overwhelming? Yes. The Lord is going to teach me to let go and let Him take over. I guess because I felt I could handle 4, He said, "Hey, let's give her 5 so she'll have to trust in me and not be so self-reliant." In seven weeks, I'll be leaning on the everlasting arms for the next 18-23 years at least!

A lesson?

I don't know what I'm being taught right now, oh wait, the HS just told me a few. Let go, pray, and remain joyful. Wait, there's another: patience. It's going to take a LOT of lessons for me to learn these virtues!

I've lost a few things in the past three weeks, and I don't do well when things are missing. Somehow, Blessing #3's shoes have vanished. We have lost Blessing #1's Cub Scout coupon books (10 of them) and the money from the ones already sold. Blessing #1 and I lost my iPod. I feel like half of my brain is missing as I frantically review where we've been, where these items could be, whom could I ask, etc... This goes on and on and on... I don't sleep well, I don't concentrate well, nothing gets done until the lost item is found. I am usually more organized than this and I know where everything is. So, the Lord is teaching me that I have to let go and let Him know where everything is. I guess "ignorance is bliss" is the saying He wants me thinking right now.

I am praying. Earnestly. My main concern is the people who wrote checks for a coupon book. I don't know all of them. I need to pray that they'll understand. Oh, please understand.

Remaining joyful is one of the hardest things, but I am going to try. I can think on the things we have found (which were also lost) - Blessing #4's shoes. At least I can't lose God and He'll never lost me! (o:

I must be patient and wait for God's timing and answer. If His answer is not what I want to hear, I need to be joyful and love the fact that God still loves me enough to work on me!

Chairs and prayer

A year or so ago, I attended a Bible study where we used a book entitled The Three Chairs. It spoke of Joshua, his children, and grandchildren. Joshua was a godly man, his children heard of God, and his grandchildren didn't believe in God at all. (This is where the chairs come in: the person who is on fire for God is in the first chair, the one who's heard stories of God is in the second chair, and the one who's heart is cold toward God is in the third chair.) One reason why this happened was because the second and third generations heard old-time, long-ago stories and never personal accounts of God in Joshua's life.

I didn't want that to happen to my kids, so I decided to start a prayer journal. I haven't written in it for awhile, but I do write when I can. I feel it will benefit them when they're older and when they ask me about God and answering prayers. They will see that some prayers are answered quickly, some are answered with a "no," and some take time to answer.

I Thess. 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.

Apologize and ask forgiveness

We were heading out the door the other day, late as usual, when my third blessing started crying. She told me blessing #1 pushed her. He said, "Well, I told her to move, and she wouldn't get out of the way!" After admonishing them both, the HS jabbed my heart. I thought about how I'd heard those words before...coming out of my mouth to my oldest. I realized that while I'm trying to teach him to set a good example for his younger siblings, I must be an example for him. It hurt my heart dearly to see my children hurting each other. After putting blessing #4 in his car seat, I apologized to my oldest for not setting a good example, that I was working on it, and would he forgive me. Thankfully, he said he did. I am so glad that we have a "parent" who never has to ask forgiveness. He is perfect and everything he does for us (whether we think it good or bad) is in love.

ATTACK!!!!!

Satan is attacking me. He knows my weaknesses, and boy is he giving them a workout! Since I started this blog, it's been good. This week, though, is a different story. It started yesterday when Bruce's paycheck didn't appear in the mail and it should have. It has escalated to today. The kids misbehaved this morning, and my anger almost got the best of me. The kids went to the dentist, and I will be paying a large sum to fix Andrew's teeth. Plus, again, they misbehaved. And finally, again, his check did not appear in the mail. Hmmm...my top three weaknesses? Anger, patience, and our finances. Satan's hitting them all. I'm trying to be good. I thought about when Jesus was tempted, and how He responded (Matt. 4:1-11). The very first verse just jumped out at me: "Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil." He was led by the Spirit. So, the Spirit (God) goes before us into our temptations/trials. How nice to know that God is there already by the time we get there. When Jesus was tempted, He had knowledge of the Bible. He used verses to refute Satan. Gosh, I need to learn some about anger, patience, and finances! If anyone has any, please comment. On the last verse (11), Jesus tells Satan to get away from him. Can we do that? I think I'll try that one day! (o;

On a side note, I want to try and have a verse in every post, but I don't have that great a knowledge of the Bible. So, if I don't have a verse and you know of a verse that fits the post, please write a comment with the verse. Thanks for reading; I hope you're learning as much as I am!

Excuses, excuses

I've been making excuses. About three months ago, I joined choir. Soon after, the HS told me to ask about auditioning for solos. Since I wasn't sure if it was me wanting glory for myself or the HS actually speaking to me, I had to pray and ask for discernment. Once I figured out it was the HS, I called. I was quite pleased with myself. I told the Lord, smiling, "I called. Now it's up to them." I never received a call back (input smile here - I thought I was off the hook), finding out there were some problems with the pastor's assistant's husband. The HS spoke again and I (again) had another excuse. It was Christmas and crazy. Then it was a family problem with the pastor's extended family. Still He kept speaking to me, and I, rather joyfully, had more excuses. Excuse #1 - I wasn't as good as the other soloists the pastor had already. E#2 - What if I made a mistake while singing a solo? E#3 - I found out our pastor doesn't like vibrato in the voice, and I sing with some vibrato sometimes. E#4 - What if he doesn't like my singing, and he hurts my feelings by saying I'm just not good enough for solos? Am I O.K. with that?

Here's how the HS answered. He made me sign up for a vocal workshop which would help me become a better singer. How did he make me, you ask? I totally forgot about the fact that we have one car and Andrew had a Cub Scout meeting (Pinewood Derby) that day and that I have Travis I have to feed. He made me so excited about the workshop that I signed up immediately. I made it to the workshop, thanks to Dad and thanks to Mom for watching the kids and thanks to Bruce for taking Andrew to the Pinewood Derby. There went excuse #1.

Excuse #2? The soloist on Sunday made a mistake, and lightning did not hit her. She did not melt, and the congregation did not boo her off the stage. Well, you do survive after making a mistake in public. Darn, I was running out of excuses.

Excuse #3? The other soloist on Sunday sang with vibrato.

Now, for my last excuse. I prayed and the HS showed me that I would be O.K. if he didn't like my singing. I was fine with singing in choir. I liked it, and I love singing for the Lord. I also fortunately ran into someone who told me that he doesn't always immediately have you sing a solo. In fact, you may never sing a solo. He just likes knowing you're available. It doesn't mean he didn't like your singing, he just doesn't like to change the Praise Team too much. And the HS said, "Ha! You got any more excuses?"

I didn't. I gave in. I sing for him on Wednesday evening. I am soooooooooo nervous!!!!!!!

Please pray the Lord's will and that I don't sing flat because of my anxiety. My hands are shaking already thinking about it. Can you imagine how I'll be on Wednesday?!?!